Friday, December 9, 2011

Maybe later

I was reading Nance's latest post on her blog, Mature Landscaping. As usual, she writes well about a subject that was already on my mind as of late. My lack of attention to this blog. How does she know these things? I'm not at all certain as to why I feel this way, but I've been tired and depressed for quite awhile. It's been too much effort for me to hit the keyboard with an original thought of more than two sentences. So I told the doctor how I was feeling at my meeting with him the other day. Actually, he is a PA-C and I think quite highly of him. Anyway, he has me on a supplemental drug, Celexa, in addition to the Wellbutrin. It will be at least a week before I feel anything...or not. 
The problem with depression, for me, is the fact that I can't find the inspiration for my art. I miss that. Just yesterday, I sold a painting, but it was one that I had painted a year ago. The customer wanted to know if I had any more like that (Abstract Impressionism) and I had to tell him "No.". I gave him a song and dance about just having moved and perhaps, after I have the studio rebuilt, I would be able to satisfy his request. He was happy with that. I just realized that I painted that piece a year ago; when I was heavily into pain medication. I hope the drugs weren't my inspiration!


  1. Ima Wizer8:41 AM

    I hope you are fine.....I worry, too about depression. This world is very difficult to live in. I understand your pain. But, for all the valleys, there ARE peaks and we must climb over the riff-raff to get there.
    You take care. Do your art when you feel like it.
    I loved using that backerboard to do the patio was different and fun and it got me motivated again. Buy some, do something on that!
    You're a love, don't forget that! I hate the Holidaze, I can barely make it through, but I do.

  2. Thank you so much, Ima...your comments made my morning.
    For the first time in four years I am relatively pain-free and that makes the depression even more irritating.
    We finally had the cabinets installed in the garage yesterday and that means I will soon be able to rebuild my studio. And that means that when I am inspired...I will have a place to work on it.
    Thanks again!

  3. Steven,
    I hope the new meds pick you up and ease your pain. They seem like good choices for your complaint (and I am not an MD, so what do I know?). Your art is pure you and it's wonderful. Paint something every day, even if you don't feel like it; I promise you it'll blow a hole right through that inspiration void.

    Your fellow HSP and friend.

  4. Thanks, Nance...I appreciate the kind words!

    The Celexa is going to be dropped in favor of increasing the Wellbutrin. Too many side effects witht Celexa.