Tuesday, July 21, 2009

It’s Time

Life goes on. And so does the very real need for drugs. I wish I could write something here, such as…'Life goes on and it's the third day in row that I have been pain free.' But, I have a feeling that won't happen for quite awhile.

In the meantime, I spend my time juggling the starting times for the various pain killers in my pharmacy. I really dislike getting close to bedtime and finding out the next dose of my favorite drug is still two hours away. And if I snooze right through a dosage time in the middle of the afternoon, I have to get out my pill splitter and try to make things right. If nothing else works, I will overdose just get where I need to be.

In the 'World As It Should Be', I would have been sent home from the hospital with a small black box attached to a belt for around my waist. An IV line would come from the box and would be inserted into the most comfortable spot for a mobile patient. The black box would have a wireless connection to the internet and could be contacted by your physician. The black box would contain a cartridge of drugs, all in the more powerful liquid form. At indicated times, the black box would pump the required amount of the proper drug into my veins. If the pain didn't subside, I would push a button on the box and ask for an extra amount. The answer would be already programmed in and the additional amount would be given; if not, the box would use the wireless connection to contact my doctor for confirmation. At night, the total drug amount would be the same but spread out over the entire sleep period so I could be pain free for the entire night. Need more drugs? Additional cartridges could be prescribed as needed and one would always be in reserve. But…for something like that I would have to live in a country where health care is valued.

Oh well, I like the idea anyway. Just a little bit of brainstorming by myself…as I wait for the Tizanidine and Norco to do their work. Dilaudid, Neurontin and whatever. Of course this would open up an whole new line of work for crackers and hackers. The War on Drugs folks would see the black box as an assault on their position and they would resurrect Nancy to start the 'Just Say No' campaign once again. I would bet that that they have warehouses full of posters and buttons to hand out.

It's been more than an hour since I took the first of the mornings drugs. Now I'm slowing down and losing my place in the day. Mentally, I'm crumbling. But, on the physical side, I'm well insulated. The persistent pain in my hip and calf are still there; hiding quietly and just waiting for chance to bite me again. I think I'll go hide. But first, a dose of Dilaudid. I want to make it tough for that particular pain to find me.



  1. I'm sorry for you. I would not like to have to do this. I am thankful for my good heath every day!

  2. Please...don't feel sorry. It's all part of the experience of life. Or so I keep telling myself. Doesn't every experience in life mold us and change us in some way?I'm not sure what this experience will make of me? I might be scared to see me!

    And getting down to the nitty gritty, I wouldn't mind a word with the 'designer' of such a system!