It is early and that's no surprise. I was in bed for about five and a half hours before I gave up and decided to make a pot of coffee. Now I've had a cup and browsed the internet as I usually do about this time. My feed reader told me that there was something new to read on a friends blog; Mature Landscaping. Nance has a great way with words. And her posts prove it. If you read carefully you might notice a small reference to pain. Her pain. From what I can tell, she is at odds with severe pain on a regular basis and still appears to be a winner. She handles pain with much grace. Enviable grace.
Speaking of pain as I was... in about a month, I will be talking to the surgeon who will do the Spinal Cord Stimulator implant. Surgery will follow within a week or two? A month or two? Whatever! Then, with any luck at all, I will be able to wirelessly dial up the necessary pain relief any time I wish. Electronic wizardry sending messages from the embedded controller and up my spine; these fool the brain by scrambling the pain message. What a wonderful time to be alive!
Of course I don't get off the hook of pain completely. I now count 'Trigger Finger' as something new to plague me. Luckily it is my left hand ring finger and so, being right handed, I'm not incapacitated by it. I was able to get my wedding ring off before the swelling became too bad and now the ring sits here in front of me, looking a little lonely, waiting to go back on someday.
On a different subject; I've been researching Asperger's Syndrome during the past half a dozen years. I had always thought that I had ADD/ADHD. (I'm seventy years old. It doesn't make a lot of difference now.) But as I read about that I began to see references to Asperger's and so I explored some more. I took the usual on-line tests and each time I did I came up with scores that indicated that Asperger's was definitely a part of me. And this (self) diagnosis explained so much about my childhood! And my adult life as well. Such as the fact that I have a problem looking anyone in the eye. I remember all of the meetings I had to attend and the silent commands to myself, "look him in the eye...you have to or he won't believe you!" It was one of those 'John Wayne' things...you simply couldn't trust a 'cowboy' that wouldn't look you in the eye. I failed so many times. I can't do it for more than a second or two, so I've learned to look at eyebrows instead! And then there is my boring recitation of facts that only I would enjoy. I often see my unwilling audience's eyes glazing over as I interject with yet another useless fact from my never empty treasury of facts. I used to read the dictionary for fun; Aardvark to Zymurgy. And then I would read it again. And again.
There are plenty of other signs of Asperger's, enough so that during the time with my Tuesday morning painting group, I mentioned the fact that I was fairly certain that I had Asperger's. One of my friends there, nodded her head and said, quite firmly, "I knew it! I knew it!" She works with developmentally challenged kids at the local high school and knows quite a bit about Asperger's. (I'm developmentally challenged in ways you would not notice at first glance.) Asperger's, or Aspie's, as some call themselves, usually have higher than normal intelligence. I have an IQ of 138 or 143, depending on who you want to believe. Those numbers did not make me a rocket scientist; I was a carpenter! Having a higher IQ and having Asperger's makes for a very uncomfortable life at times. I can't always make use of the intelligence in ways that society understands. And when I was younger I was constantly being flogged with those numbers by counselors who thought I needed more motivation.
Being a carpenter was really a blessing as I could usually work by myself if I needed to. Plus, I could work out construction problems in my head while I was alone and come up with better methods for building. That 'talent' soon promoted me to foreman and superintendent. I was still an apprentice when they made me foreman as well. (That didn't win me a lot friends) But, being deeply introverted, I had to come up with a different way of leadership as I simply couldn't yell and threaten to fire anyone. I did find a way and it worked for me for many years. I would give them the 'look'…without actually looking at them, of course. I would exude disapproval without ever saying a word. Devastating!
As I said earlier, I'm over seventy years of age and whether or not I have ADD or Asperger's…or a bit of both, makes no difference now. Except for the fact that I'm now aware of some of my more irritating 'habit's' and will try to moderate them for the sake of friendships. Just don't ask me to look them in the eye