New Rules

My old friend, Dan sent me an email containing some humorous comments made by George Carlin. It’s about the new rules for the New Year, 2006, as imagined by Carlin.

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's areason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them!
New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a
seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl
of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to
contain? Trout?
New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.
New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.
And the most important one…New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.

This leads me to comment on the trend towards self serve “everything”. When I go to the market or the hardware store, I want someone to wait on me. I don’t want to scan and bag my own “stuff’. Now I could be persuaded to change my mind if I were to be rewarded in some way. After all, the store is profiting by not having to pay a human. So where’s my cut? A 5% discount? How about 3%? Something! C’mon…I need an incentive here.

And one more thing; as I was using my credit card the other day, the clerk took it from me to verify the valid date on it, gave it back and then asked for it once again to look at the signature, gave it back and then told me to slide it. What? She was suddenly crippled?