Introspect

Wednesday is here. The week is at its mid-point and I am slightly behind it. My list of incomplete tasks grows along with my reluctance to complete them. One of my many failings! Procrastination is my middle name.

The almost full moon is still lighting the orchard this morning and I can see that the wind has slowed to a mild breeze for now. That’s going to make the morning walk a chilly one.

After listening to another blogger tell of her life with blogging, I had to think about all of my reasons for doing it. Perhaps if I start at the beginning…and that was many years ago when I signed up with Blogger.com and began a “private” blog. Yes, you could (and still can) create a blog that no one else would ever see unless you invited them. I used it for exercises in writing. And I kept it private until May of 2004. That is when a friend of mine started his own blog and I read it. Well, if he could do it, so could I.  

I still use it for exercise, but not as much as I should. The reason, the motivation for blogging has changed for me. I see it now as my small voice in a very large world. I see it as “conversation”. What I write about are the same things I would talk about if there were just two of us sitting at a table somewhere, a book, a magazine, and a newspaper or two serving as conversation starters. The radio is playing softly in the background. Maybe a television is on? And I’m talking. Once in awhile, someone interrupts me and adds to the conversation. I like that.

At the same time, I am becoming more aware of others who might be reading my words. My hit counter astonishes me. And I feel that I have to be careful with my words now, something that didn’t bother me when it was a private blog. I’m not always successful at that and I’m sure I have offended. And that is when I have to rely on the fact that there are millions of blogs…and who is listening to that one small voice in the crowd? Not many. That doesn’t excuse me and so I still need to weigh my words carefully.

At times I feel like I should start over with my blog and chart a steadier course, one that would avoid the pitfalls of politics and opinion. But all blogs are opinion and what kind of a conversation would we be having if I avoided any chance of controversy? Boring!