Life

Living life without Facebook is not as easy as I thought it might be. A couple of weeks have gone by since I gave it up and I do miss the photos and information as to where people, my family, are and what they are doing. I don't miss the constant 'Like'ing without a chance to dis-'like'. Of course the FB powers can't allow any official methods to express displeasure within the FB realm. In fact, there is no way to have a conversation. If you thought email was killing off the art of conversation, Facebook has dug the grave and is now covering it over and tamping it down.

And I noticed that there are fewer people out here on the other side of the FB wall. When I left, I ceased to exist for those still on Facebook. That makes sense; why would you comment on Cousin Susie's photo and then exit Facebook to write an email to Uncle Frank concerning that same photo? A photo that Uncle Frank can't see unless you attach it to the email…which is all sort of a bother. So you don't do either one.

I still have an obscure presence on Facebook; my 'Jim Bob' persona. I created an email account for 'him' awhile ago and then signed him up for a FB account. He has a silly photo and a bio that makes him out to be in his 90's. He was created just for laughs and I may keep him around. But he will have to obey some rules…he can't 'like' anything! He'll be my eyes and ears to watch over a select few of my FB friends. (why can't I just quit?)

On another note; Warren Buffett. One of the wealthiest men in the world.
"He was ranked as the world's second wealthiest person in 2009 and is currently the third wealthiest person in the world as of 2010."
Below are a couple of quotes from him…

 

• If anything, taxes for the lower and middle class and maybe even the upper middle class should even probably be cut further. But I think that people at the high end - people like myself - should be paying a lot more in taxes. We have it better than we've ever had it. 
  

 

• The rich are always going to say that, you know, just give us more money and we'll go out and spend more and then it will all trickle down to the rest of you. But that has not worked the last 10 years, and I hope the American public is catching on. 
  

 

But…those are quotes and nothing much will change just because a rich guy said those words. Warren isn't actually doing something to change the system with his money. He's a philanthropist and not a fighter.

 

I've been painting almost every day and enjoying it. I'm learning quite a bit from the group I paint with on Tuesdays. They are all mature artists and that doesn't mean they are old. They are all very giving with praise and advise and it has been one of the best things I've ever done when I joined up with them; to paint together for three hours once a week.

The art of conversation has not died within this group! We have all sorts of personalities and skills among us. There are two with Doctorates. There are three conservatives and five liberals. One "born' again and two Unitarian Universalists. There are three that regularly show and sell their art work while for some of us, showing is a whole new experience. A humbling one. All of this and we still enjoy each other's company! And for all of this we pay $15 a month for the use of the room at the Art Center. Cheap!

Life goes on and so do I. I'm awake, as usual, at 4 this morning and have started with the usual drugs. Now I wait for the Norco – and maybe the Tizanidine - to do something with this persistent pain. Persistent. Never ending. Always. In pain. I am so tired of it! It was a year ago that I was just a month away from the surgery that would end the pain. And it did for about six months. Slowly, the pain came back. But, I was optimistic and believed that as long as I kept up the 4 mile a day walking regimen, a miracle would occur and the pain would ease off. That didn't happen and instead, I began to need pain drugs once again. I had been off of them for about three months. Yesterday was a five Norco + one Dilaudid day and still the pain persisted, never going below a Level 3.

I sometimes feel presumptive with my complaints. How dare I presume to complain about my 'little pain' when there are so many that are in greater pain and have been for even longer periods of time? How dare I, indeed.

Well, I do dare because like so many things in life, it – the pain - is all about me and sometimes it is next to impossible to focus on someone else in pain. The best I can do is to commiserate. But who wants that?

I am in limbo. After participating in the Run For Food just a month ago, the pain has finally reached a level that makes me wonder if I should sign up for any similar events in the near future. Hopefully, I will have an answer this week. I've had my MRI and I see my neurosurgeon on Thursday. I'll also have an x-ray just before my appointment with him.

There is a part of me that says I should stop fighting it. After all, I'm 70 years old and I can't expect miracles, can I? Genetics say that I only have x number of years to live and I might as well accept that those last year's might not be comfortable. And another point; my career choices abetted my downfall and I can't rewrite history, can I?

But, on the other hand, my mean, hard drinking and smoking grandmother lived to be 93. (Sorry, grandma. You really were mean.) Her daughter, my mother, who was not at all mean, nor a hard drinker, but smoked like a chimney and lived till she was 87. So there is a chance that I, her reformed and somewhat healthy son could live till I was in my mid 90's. Or older. That's at least 25 years from now and I'm not sure I want to accept pain as a lifestyle for that long of a time.

Well, it's all just chatter until I talk to the doctor. Hopefully, the MRI and x-rays will reveal the future for me.