venting

Aargh! My Trigger Finger problem is most irritating this morning! It's also very common and I hate to have 'common' problems. The more exotic the better!

It's just a little after 5 and I've been up since 3. All very much normal for me. Sigh. And now it's time for another cup of coffee.

Okay, coffee is in my hand…in a cup. And I've made the painful walk between here and there to get my cup. It's only on the return trip from there that I feel the pain. It must be the added weight of the coffee. And the cup. And speaking of pain, it's less than a week now until I receive my trial Spinal Cord Stimulator. Yippee! And then, after I receive the final install of the SCS, maybe, just maybe, I can think of reducing the amount of drugs I'm taking for pain. I have a love/hate relationship with Fentanyl, Norco and Neurontin. Yet, I can't imagine life without them. I have to. They aren't the first drugs I've had to divorce myself from so I'm quite optimistic about it. Though…at my age I certainly don't need a painful divorce. And now with a case of 'Trigger Finger' to contend with, I wonder when will it (the pain) all be over? It's been three years now and it's starting to feel 'normal'. I don't need that!

Our group of painters has put together another show at the sports club and this time I'm absent from the show. I helped to hang it yesterday and was truly relieved to have nothing there for others to judge. Yes, I sold a painting at the last show but it was one that I wasn't happy about and never should have shown it. I am not ready for another experience like that.

Until Sunday, I was all set, or had talked myself into believing that I was…ready to hang two pieces in this show. Then I saw through the haze of drugs and decided to gesso right over them. Done. These pain killers might give you inspiration, or something that passes for inspiration but they don't give you talent.

I've begun some new pieces but I'm going at it quite slowly and not letting the inspiration get ahead of what I'm able to do. I'm still looking for some way to express myself adequately. That's why I'm taking a Papier-mâché class next month. As I said - still looking!

Some quotes I pulled from the net…

Artist's Quotes

There is in every artist's studio a scrap heap of discarded works in which the artist's discipline prevailed against his imagination. Robert Brault.

 

To sum up, I work without a theory. I am conscious above all of the forces involved, and find myself driven forward by an idea that I can really only grasp bit by bit as it grows with the picture. Henri Matisse. 

 

I paint in order not to cry. Paul Klee. 

 

But the Devil whoops, as he whooped of old: "It's clever, but is it Art?" Rudyard Kipling.

 

No great art has ever been made without the artist having known danger. Rainer Maria Rilke.

 

Whoever wishes to devote himself to painting should begin by cutting out his own tongue. Henri Matisse.

 

Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.  George Carlin.

 

What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art. Augustus Saint-Gaudens.

 

An artist's career always begins tomorrow. James McNeill Whistler.

 

One must beware of a formula good for everything, that will serve to interpret the other arts as well as reality, and that instead of creating will only produce a style, or rather a stylization. George Braque.

 

If I knew what I was doing, I'd be doing it right now.  Keith Urban.

 

Truth and reality in art do not arise until you no longer understand what you are doing and are capable of, but nevertheless sense a power that grows in proportion to your resistance. Henri Matisse.